News

November 2005

Welcome back 1 - Dave Lawless

Despite being selected last weekend for the first time since his recent collapsed lung and near death experience, Dave Lawless was unable to play due to a bout of flu. At Dave's insistance the Doctor has tested for a Human strain of Bird Flu. We await your return eagerly Dave, the left side of CFC isn't the same without you. (click here for more Dave Lawless stuff)

Footballs

Still no word from CFC's missing footballs - what was a collection of 20 match balls at the beginning of the 2004/5 season is now 2 plus a couple of half inflated petrol station specials. We've been scanning Al-Jezeera all year but as of yet haven't seen any being held to ransom by militant factions threatening to cut their inflation valves out. Has Nathan really put 17 balls out of the ground in the past 13 months?

Xmas dinner for players and partners.

Ben has kindly organised a Christmas Meal for us on Friday the 9th December. Going to the absolute extremes of effort Ben has booked us a table at Caffe Uno in Berkhamstead. In a happy coincidence, this is the nearest restaurant to where Ben lives.

Welcome back 2 - Gordon Mackintosh

Drink plenty of water, flush your livers out, they're gonna be taking a hell of a beating - the Big man is back soon.

Question is this: has the USA or fatherhood (1+1 on way) or climbing the corporate ladder or simply just age, changed the Gordon we all knew and loved?

Open message to Gordie - I still have your cheese toastie maker and Flymo, you can have them back for £15.22 (£5 original fee + 15 months index linked inflation, + the tenner I gave to your collection when I thought you were actually f**king moving abroad, not just taking a long holiday)

On a footballing note, will having had his ankle broken by a GIRL playing soccer stateside have slowed him down? (Mind you if Gordon went any slower he'd have to go backwards)

Fond farewell to Ed

He's off. Big Ed sees Red and is off for 6 months travelling the world. In his last game before catching a big silver budgie over to the Far East, NZ and Oz, big Ed had one of his finest performances ever against Lime Kiln (game 2). Unbeatable for 45 minutes (how often can that be said about the larger-than-life man in green) he had already secured the coveted MOTM at half time.

Now he's gone (at least with a goal to his name) and the search is on for a permanent replacement (PY, Big Mac???).

Good luck to Ed (something he didn't see much of in a CFC shirt), and please please Ed, take all the advice we've given about checking for an Adams Apple.

Manager may need knee op

Player-Manager Martin Eccles may need knee surgery to fix a dodgy right knee that's plagued him for the last three years.

In a twist of fate that makes you wonder if he thinks the NHS give out Discount Cards for frequent visitors, he may also need to go under the knife in the pelvis region subject to a CT scan next week. Mrs Eccles wasn't available for comment on speculation that the second injury may have been caused whilst trying to drain some fluid to take her husbands mind off of the first.

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